The thought of a child taking their own life is so horrifying to any parent that many push it to the back of their minds rather than confronting the possibility. However, during the tricky teen years it is crucial to talk openly about suicide and shine the light on a potentially lifesaving conversation.
Mark de la Rey, a clinical psychologist at Netcare Akeso Kenilworth, says that “in a world of extreme academic pressure, online bullying and other social challenges, teenagers will be far better equipped at navigating this difficult subject if they have the opportunity to talk it through at home”.
Parents may be apprehensive about how best to approach this topic. Naturally this needs to be done at an age-appropriate level, but it is important to remember that children have access to, and are exposed to, information and misinformation about difficult subjects like suicide – it is not possible to shelter them from that and treating it as taboo would be dangerous.
Are there signs?
Suicidal ideation sprouts from some level of depression or a mood disorder, and any suicide attempt indicates a genuine sense of hopelessness.
Unfortunately, there are not always clear signs, especially in teens who are high functioning and good at sports, performing well academically, popular in their friend group and so on. This makes it easier for them to mask their true mental state, which they may do to live up to what they believe is expected of them.
There are certain instances in which teenagers can become so caught up that they are not able to take a step back and regain perspective without some help. This includes common scenarios, some of which are near impossible to avoid, such as exam pressures and relationship issues. Others may be less apparent such as online bullying.
Any significant change in behaviour can be a warning sign. It can be easy to miss a signal, so having a sense of what is happening in a teen’s daily life is crucial. If a child who is usually very active and social but becomes withdrawn, or a child who has always been a home body now seems to be looking for reasons to stay away, keep a watchful eye. Sudden outbursts of anger and frustration and changes in daily habits can also point to emotional difficulty.
Seek professional help
Ultimately children should feel they can talk to a parent when they are facing a seemingly insurmountable problem and they should know that help is always available.
If there is any suspicion or knowledge that a child is having suicidal thoughts, professional help should be sought immediately. There is always another option, even if the teenager cannot see it at the time.
Help is available
Netcare Akeso Kenilworth offers an inpatient programme for adolescents that can help. Contact 087 098 0464 or info@akeso.co.za or visit www.akeso.co.za for more information.
